Tombstone Epitaphs

When I die bury me deep,

Put a bowl of gravy at my feet.

Put two biscuits in each hand

and I'll sop my way to the promised land.

Remember friends as you pass by,

As you are now, so once was I;

As I am now, so you must be

Prepare for death and follow me.

I told you I was sick.

He was young

He was fair

But the Injuns

Raised his hair

Jedediah Goodwin

Auctioneer

Born 1828

Going!

Going!!

Gone!!!

If you have any epitaphs you would like to share with us, please send them and we will be happy to add them to this page!!

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Here lies an Atheist

All dressed up

And no place to go.

The Body of

B. Franklin, Printer

Like the Cover of an old Book

Its Contents turn out

And Stript of its Lettering & Guilding

Lies here.  Food for Worms

For, it will as he believed

appear once more

In a new and more elegant Edition

corrected and improved

By the Author

Benjamin Franklin

(Christ Church Burial Grounds; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

This little 'ditty' is what my father said he wanted on his headstone.....

"Here lies Mrs. Betty . . . who died November 25th, 1783.

She was a mother without knowing it,

and a wife without letting her husband know it

except by her kind indulgences to him."

Plymouth, Tobago, West Indies

John T. McMahon

Vine Hill Cemetery,

Plymouth Mass

          1930

HE WAS A FAILURE AS A HUSBAND AND FATHER

HE WAS INSANE 15 YEARS BECAUSE OF LIQUOR

BUT DIED SOBER

MAY CHRIST HAVE MERCY ON HIS SOUL

HE WAS NOT A PILGRIM

Bonnie Anderson

Forest Lawn, Hollywood Hills,

Los Angeles, California

I D0N'T WANT TO TALK

ABOUT IT NOW.

Thomas O. Murphy

Mountain View Cemetery,

Vancouver, British Columbia

Sh-h-h

Robin Hood

Yorkshire England

Hear underneath dis laihl stean

las Robert earl of Huntingtun

neer arcir yer az hie sa geud

And pipl kauld im Roben Heud

sick utlawz as he an iz men

il england nivr si agen

Obiit 24 kal Decembris 1247

"Two things I love most,

Good horses and beautiful women, and when I die I hope they tan this old hide of mine and make it into a ladies riding saddle, so I can rest in peace between the two things I love."

GAME OVER

".....that is what my husband wants for his epitaph.  He has always been known as the pinball wizard in our area.  He worked for a cousin of his that owned a game business route that placed games in locations."  Submitted via email  (Thanks!!)